Ultimate Guide to Bondage - Honour Blog

Ultimate Guide to Bondage

Welcome to the Honour beginner’s guide to bondage, perfect for BDSM virgins and those looking to brush up on their BDSM knowledge!

With the bondage phenomenon of 50 Shades of Grey, this once secret, taboo world has been thrown into the mainstream spotlight. Not only does this dark world belong to those BDSM experts but it has become more accessible than ever to the ordinary sex and foreplay enthusiast.

Confused by the term bondage and want to learn exactly what it means? Keep on reading…

What does BDSM stand for?

BDSM is actually the umbrella term used for a lot of different bondage practices - and not everyone on the fetish scene is into the same things. BDSM can cover the use of restraints, impact play, humiliation, watersports, electrosex, sensory deprivation, petplay, and much more!

If we were to break up the term BDSM we would start with Bondage and Discipline. The word bondage refers to the use of restraints in sexual play. For example the use of hand, ankle and cuff restraints, rope, collars and leads. Secondly we move on to Discipline and the use of punishment and rewards. This goes hand in hand with bondage and punishment through restraints such as handcuffs. Or perhaps you’ve spanked a partner for breaking the bedroom rules and being naughty, this is a prime example of B&D.

Next up is D & S. These two words stand for the popular Dominance and Submission roles that can take place in sexual activities. Perhaps you’ve heard of power play or using role play to act out fantasies. A great example of this is a dominant headmistress and her naughty submissive pupil. If you’re familiar with these fantasies or have even performed these roles before, you’ve already toyed with the world of D & S.

Last but not least we have S & M, meaning Sadism and Masochism. Perhaps you are familiar with the phrase thanks to Rihanna. S & M is the darkest and potentially most recognised category of BDSM. Portrayed in popular culture as very much a taboo, S & M includes acts such as whipping and spanking to biting and clamping body parts. It’s often thought of as being a much more extreme act in creating pleasure through pain.

 

Once you’ve mastered the understanding of these 3 different categories, you have become a BDSM king or queen! To check out all BDSM gear we have to offer here.

 

New to Bondage?

 

If you’re a Bondage newbie, it’s all about safety first. It’s always important to know you and your partner’s limits in the bedroom. A key word in the bondage community is Respect. Always respect your partner's limits and if they refuse to take part in a specific act, don’t betray their trust and respect their decision.

Safety Tip: Always agree on a safeword and additional hand signal for if things get a little too much for either you or your partner. Not sure what a safeword is? In the world of BDSM, a safeword is used by either the sub or Dom to signify that they want to stop an act immediately. Always choose a safeword you would never use whilst having sex as by saying ‘no’ or ‘stop’ can be misinterpreted as part of your role play.

 

Getting Started with Bondage...

 

Bondage can be soft and sensual as well as dark, intense and kinky! If you’ve never dabbled in the world bondage we advise starting light with a set of furry handcuffs and a blindfold to begin with. If you’re completely vanilla in BDSM, perhaps try hand spanking and some light hair pulling before diving deep into the bondage extremes.

Now that you’ve got a taste for something a little kinkier, it’s time to introduce you to the next bondage level with the use of collars and leads to be used by a controlling Dom. Or maybe you want to explore some light pain and pleasure with a set of body clamps to be used on nipples or genitalia. If you find them a little too chatty for your liking, another great addition would be the use of sensory deprivation with a ball gag - perfect for interrogation play!

What’s on offer?

Whether you’re already an established part of the fetish scene; a proudly vanilla couple looking to add some flavour to the bedroom; or somewhere in-between, at Honour we have the expertise - and the equipment! - to make all your bondage fantasies come true. Our floggers whips, canes, and paddles are great for impact play, whilst we stock ropes, chains, restraints, spreader bars, collars and handcuffs for bondage. Spice things up with some sensory play, ranging from the innocent-enough blindfold or feather tickler, to restrictive latex hoods, nipple clamps, and pin-sharp wartenberg wheels.

 

If you’re feeling adventurous, why not check out our electrosex collection, including electrified anal and vaginal probes and skin-tingling electrical pads. We also have a very popular selection of male chastity devices, and a cutting-edge CBT range including penis plugs, sounds, ball stretchers and other devilish tools to meet your cock-and-ball needs.



BDSM Aftercare



Now so far, we’ve talked about what you can do during your sexual explorations, but what happens after? After-care is a great way of making sure your submissive is feeling ok, and the perfect way to reconnect to “the real world” after a bit of heavy BDSM play.

 

Sometimes after a scene, your submissive may experience something called Sub Drop – which is often explained as a rush of emotions as they come out of the submissive mindset. The best way to deal with this is to comfort your sub, hold them, get them a drink of water. BDSM and kink often acts as ways for people to express themselves and let go, it’s a cathartic experience for many. Dom’s can also experience the other side of this, they may feel a strange guilt for (consentingly) hurting their submissive, and this is perfectly normal too! As with any relationship, it is important to be there for each other in any way you can, and talk through everything that is going on in your mind.

 

That brings us to the next stage, talking. Discuss what you did in your session, did you try anything new? How did you both find it? Would you do it again? Would you do anything differently? If your sub called their safeword at any time (as well as everything coming to a halt immediately),this is when you  should talk about what happened.

Now, take time to reconnect, get back on a level playing field. Even within a 24/7 lifestyle BDSM relationship after-care is important. Take a shower together, or give each other a massage, these are perfect ways to be with you partner, and to shake off any remaining “drop” symptoms.

 

You may be thinking, if BDSM is meant to be fun, then shouldn’t you just be able to get on with it at the end, and not need all this? BDSM is fun, but sometimes it can get emotional – you always need to keep a dialogue open and what’s good, and what isn’t. Some might not want after-care, it’s all about listening to each other and finding out what each other needs to have the best experience.