I Think My Husband Is Faking Orgasms

Dear Felicity,

I think my husband is faking orgasms, should I ask him if he is? We have pretty regular sex which is good but recently I’ve just had this feeling that he’s been faking it because it seems too early but he wears a condom so I can’t really tell.

Carol, 45, London

felicity1

Well there are two main things to consider here: is he actually faking them? If so, why?
So to work out if he’s faking them, as long as you’re sure you’re both sexually healthy, suggest having sex without a condom, I don’t need to explain how that would answer the question definitively.

Although if he’s defensive about this I wouldn’t take that as proof he’s faking them, it may well be that he genuinely is coming early and he feels that keeping the condom on helps him last a little.

If you’re sure he’s faking it, there are many reasons this could potentially be, from alcohol use, tiredness or lack of sensitivity to things like un-indulged fantasies or a desire to explore more in the bedroom.

Once you ask about having sex without a condom you should try and get more inventive and exciting in the bedroom, ask him what his wildest fantasy is and try your best to create and and see what happens. Explore sex toys and costumes to see how you might be able to spice things up a little!

Scientists surrender as they admit they cannot find G-spot

According to the latest study, published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, the fabled G-spot may not actually exist.

Earlier this week reports were released that confessed even ultrasounds and tissue samples had failed to prove the existence of the ultimate erogenous zone.

Dr Amichai Kilchevsky, from the Yale-New Haven Hospital in Connecticut, studied nearly 100 peer reviewed articles from the past six decades on this special yet often elusive spot. The reviews included clinical trials, case reports and reviews, none of which could prove that the mythic G-spot zone exists, reaffirming that the strongest evidence remains anecdotal.

The G-spot is said to be a small area of the female body where nerve endings are concentrated, with the capability to provide intense pleasure. This supposed area is said to be situated just a few centimetres across on the back vaginal wall

Hitting this orgasmic pleasure zone is a sexual quest that has frustrated many couples for decades.

First described in western medicine by Dr Grafenberg in 1950, the bean shaped area of the vaginal wall is supposed to guarantee a female orgasm as soon as it is stimulated.

Earlier Indian texts such as the Kama Shastra seem to support this claim, describing a sensitive area in the vagina that induces great pleasure.

However, a 2010 study found the clitoris dropped during sex so that it was closer to the vaginal wall. This led scientists to suggest that when you are trying to engage the G-spot you are actually indirectly stimulating the clitoris.

While Dr Kilchevsky, admitted the concept merited further attention he said he hoped his conclusion would take the pressure off couples who had not located it.

 

‘Lots of women feel almost as though it is their fault they can’t find it.’

‘The reality is that it is probably not something, historically or evolutionarily, that should even exist.’

So fact or fiction? Is the ultimate pleasure zone real or not for you?

Proof that a female orgasm really does light you up

You may know what it feels like to have an orgasm – but do you know what it looks like?

The first MRI scan video of a female orgasm shows how activity literally illuminates every region of the brain, starting with pleasure centres associated with the body and spreading through the whole brain.

Before little was understood about what actually happens to our brains during orgasm but now this MRI scan shows us that the orgasm affects more than 80 brain regions.

The scan was taken of Nan Wise, a 54-year-old sex therapist, who volunteered to sit in an MRI scanner whilst stimulating herself.

Click here to watch the video – Oxygen levels are on a ‘hot metal’ scale, low activity is red, high activity is yellow and white.

Professor Barry Komisaruk, a psychologist at Rutgers University in New Jersey, hopes that the research will help women who find it difficult to orgasm after presenting his work at the Society for Neuroscience in Washington DC last week.

‘This visualisation shows the magnetic resonance imaging brain data of a participant experiencing an orgasm – and the corresponding relationships seen within these different regions based on oxygen levels in the blood.’

‘The general aim of this research is to understand how the orgasm builds up from genital stimulation and what parts of the brain become recruited and finally build up into an orgasm.’

Apparently, as you start to orgasm, two parts of the brain, the cerebellum and the frontal cortex get a lot of activity, possibly due to muscle tension. During orgasm, the hypothalamus releases a chemical called oxytocin. That causes the uterus to contract and release what you could call very pleasureable sensations.

The video has been described to mirror a fireworks display. So keep on exploding ladies and lighting those brains up.

Orgasms can help people live longer, claims study

Couples reaching sexual ecstasy could be adding a few years to their life, as it was found orgasms can increase life expectancy, reports Mirror.

While regular sex improves hormone levels, heart health and brain power, orgasms can increase the body’s volume of infection-fighting cells by up to 20 per cent.

Regular orgasms – which can be reached through a number of sexual activities, including the use of bullet vibrators for females – make men twice as likely to live into old age as those who don’t have sex often, while women can live up to eight years longer.

In addition, women who have two orgasms a week are “up to 30 per cent less likely to develop heart disease than those who don’t enjoy sex”.

Prostate cancer can also get the old heave-ho thanks to regular sex, reports hitchedmag.com. Research by the British Journal of Urological Health found men who had five or more ejaculations weekly while in their 20s “reduced their risk of getting prostate cancer later in life by a third”.

Another study, published by the Journal of the American Medical Association, found that frequent ejaculations – “21 or more a month” – were linked to lower prostate cancer risk in older men, compared with less frequent ejaculations of four – seven times’ monthly.